Saturday, April 9, 2011

Skirt blog.

I'm going to link to my skirt blog here, since this one felt really, REALLY good to write.

But before I link I want to explain something to any of my engaged/married friends who may read this and think I am taking pot-shots at them. 1) I think that if you read the whole essay you'll understand that I'm not coming from a mean spirited place. 2) I am not lumping all of my engaged/married friends into the category mentioned in this blog and 3) Some of this is exaggerated for entertainment purposes. I know this may shock any very truthful non-writers (or even some super anal, always truthful writers) but even those of us who are not James Frey may or may not "elaborate" on truths in our lives for comic or narrative effect.

If you read this blog and you think "Hey, that b*&*h is talking about me!": First of all, watch your language young lady! Second of all, another writerly thing to do: use details from life out of context.

Lastly, I know this blog makes it sound a lot like I'm complaining about having to listen to people talk about wedding and marriage related stuff. I'm not. I love a good wedding. I love HGTV as much as the next person. Please do not stop talking to me about this stuff. Just, as you'll see if you read this blog I keep yammering on about, keep in mind it is not the only topic of conversation anyone in the world might be interested.

Okay I know this is a lot of exposition, but as good as it felt to write this blog, the one thing I worried about is that it might hurt someone's feelings. I would hate for that to happen. This refers to a very general, non specific couple behavior that comes and goes from a myriad of people and places in my life. In no way am I writing about specific people.

If you still think I'm horrible, I'm sorry. Let me know and I will write you a haiku to apologize (haiku's being the only form of poetry I am capable of writing).

And now for the link:


Mary Catherine said...

We're no longer friends. But no, I laughed hysterically throughout the whole thing and think anyone who has any sense of humor at all will do the same. I know you better than almost anyone, and I definitely know you didn't mean anything hurtful by it! But, at the same time, I would love an apology in the form of a haiku. Thank you very much.

Unknown said...

Dear Mary Catherine,

Whence spring time winds blew
A cat sat on a fence by the elevator
Sorry to you and you and you

The end.

Please do not steal this and pretend it is your creation since it is that awesome.

Dave T said...

Ms. Jewett: As a guy who has been married 20 years as of next Thurs and has a crapload of kids, I can tell you that, even if you are a member of a non-single life stage group, the conversation domination effect can be annoying as hell. Just wait until kid-focus takes hold and you'll be hearing more about bodily function than you will ever want to hear about. And then preschool behavioral issues. And eventually the college admissions process. I for one an ecstatic that I still have a few single and/or childless friends who I can sometimes talk to about something to besides sports and the weather.

But just because I want to read another of your haikus, I'm expressing the deep wounding of my feelings that your piece inflicted and I demand redress. (Please.)

Unknown said...

Dave, I'm sorry this is so late. I will brainstorm a good haiku and it should only take me (another) 3 months to comment back :)

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