Thursday, January 14, 2010

i'm sorry but...

J. Crew's "sequin short" (no s, mind you) is/are (see what you do when you pretensiously remove the "s" J. Crew, you upturn grammatical rules!) the fugliest things I have ever seen in my life.

First of all, shut up J. Crew. It's shorts plural! Just because you bedazzle them doesn't give you the right to start pretensiously removing letters. Second, you are charging 200 dollars for these spangled atrocities (with an s!). Now I love many of J. Crew's clothes, but sometimes their level of pretentiousness is just dizzying. These are not sequined short, these are sparkly hot pants! And if I wanted sparkly hot pants I would just waltz in to the nearest Forever 21 where there are approximately 712 versions of said sparkly hot pants available. And they cost $20. I could buy 10 pairs of sparkly hot pants (with an s) for the cost of one of your sequined short.


And third, if you'll notice, the model in the J. Crew catalogue picture is doing what any girl who buys sparkly hot pants would do, pair them with a button down shirt, blazer, and a BOW TIE! Seriously? SERIOUSLY? You do not wear sparkly hot pants with a blazer, button down and bow tie. If you are going to wear sparkly hot pants, if that is your personal choice that you have found peace with, then you are going to darn well wear those sparkly hot pants the way nature and God intended. You will pair your hot pants with a revealing shirt and some stripper heels! You will wear this attire to a dirty club, not to the combination tranny cocktail party/good ol' boy cigar club meeting that the model in the J. Crew catalogue is apparently attending.

While I enjoy the way J. Crew jeans fit and like their color uses, I sometimes really cannot handle the level of twee. Bowties on women who are also wearing sparkly hot pants is the defintion of twee. I half expect to open the next catalogue to see models sporting eye patches and walking sticks.

It's not fashion, it's stupidity. Bedazzled, $200 dollar stupidity.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...