shut up

So apparently tomorrow, on April 15th, Tax Day, all across the nation, small groups of people will be holding tea parties to protest the "'outrageous spending using the economic stimulus money and federal spending on bailouts by the Obama administration" (from an article by a local Palm Beach NBC affiliate).

Okay. Hmm. How do I phrase this politely? Let me try to formulate my thoughts into the most cordial of terms. Taking deep breaths. Counting to ten.

Okay, I'm ready.

Dear "Tea Party" Protesters,

SHUT UP!

Now, I do not say this because I think it's ridiculous to have serious qualms about how bailout/stumulus money is spent. By all means have your qualms. We as tax payers should all have qualms when billions of dollars are thrown around.

The reason I so delicately say, what was it now, oh yeah, SHUT UP! is for two reasons.

1) The tea party theme is stupid. No, stupid is too mild a word. It's mind numbingly, soul destroyingly idiotic. Yeah, I get that you're trying to play on the whole Boston Tea party thing, cast yourself in the role of brave patriots standing up to a "tyrannical" government. I'm sure tomorrow you, hypothetical tea partier, when you leave your house, will have a smug little smile on your face because you think the tea party idea is so clever and witty. But that's okay. What makes my skin crawl, what makes me want to die a little inside, is that you think what you're doing is noble and patriotic and in the tradition of our founding fathers. Basically what you have in common is TEA. And that's about it. They were protesting taxation yes, but here's the important part if you were paying attention in history class, taxation WITHOUT REPRESENTATION. You have represention you dumb farts. You're protesting the fact that your taxes might be raised and you have that right, but the reason this "protest" is absolutely ridiculous is because things like taxes and government spending, that's up to our democratically elected leaders who we DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED. So don't try to lump this in with people who were protesting an absolute monarch who denied them any kind of say in their government. Your little protest basically just amounts to whining. So yeah, shut up!

2) The fact that you're protesting the stimulus under this new "tyrannical" Obama administration. I object to this for one simple reason. You may not remember, but only a few short months ago, under the Bush administration, you know the one that wasn't evil and socialist, that president passed a huge spending bill called the bailout. So if you're going to protest the idea of a government stimulus, then at least get your facts right, and at least get off this whole Obama is a socialist kick because really, it's just tired and cliched and makes me think you can't come up with anything more original. Why not try calling President Obama a fascist or an anarchist? Any kind of ist really. Get out of this cold war mentality and spice up your rhetoric a little.

And yeah I get that you're angry because if Senator McCain had won I would be angry too. And there are a ton of legitimate reasons to be angry with our government in general and with bailout or stiumuls plans in principle. But if you're going to get angry, then at least come up with a better way of protesting than dumb ass, ill concieved tea parties. Why not wait until the next election, whether it's local or midterm or whatever, use the best tool at your disposal for change and vote.