Thursday, February 24, 2011

So here's a little honesty.

So here's a little personal honesty. Maybe because it's late. Maybe because I'm EXHAUSTED from this week. Maybe because I just feel the need to be more personal and more honest in general, because I think it makes me a better writer and person, but...

In my last blog I wrote about how great it feels to change, to know that you have the capacity to change. But there's a flip-side to that. It feels great when you change, less so when most of the people around you change and you well, don't.

I've been single and absolutely date-less for almost two months now, and a lot of the time I really like it. I like that I get to watch all the TV I want. I like that I can go like, two weeks, without straightening my hair or shaving my legs (I told you this would be honest). I like that I can read whole books, not just magazines. I like myself and so in general I have a pretty good time with me time.

And I'm hardly of the mindset that at 25, I have suddenly veered into spinsterhood. I haven't gotten cats yet. I don't wear stretch waisted pants every day.

But still, there are occasional moments, occasionally, particularly since 95% of my friends are engaged, in serious relationships, or married, when I occasionally get a little sad.

Occasionally it feels like all of your friends have learned a new language, out of the blue, and they are all fluent, but you have no idea what they're talking about.

Or like you've gone to this great bar for years, like the Cheers bar, and all your friends would meet you there and you'd all have this great time. And then one day you show up and no one's there. You're in the same place. You still love that place, but without anyone else there it feels completely different.

It is only occasionally that I feel this way, on those rare blue nights when it's gloomy outside and easy to feel sad and self pitying. But I'm confident tomorrow the sky will be clear, my self pity will lift, and I'll go back to my normal, happy, single life.

And if not there's always wine.

1 comment:

Haley Farrar said...

So, as your older, wiser cousin (of 51 weeks), here's my 2 cents:

Yup. Totally. I've been single for more than 3 years now; I understand completely all of the things you said. Especially the wine part.

But what I lean on is this: I look at the relationships that surround me, and think, "do I want that relationship? Do I want that man in my life?" And 90% of the time, the answer is no. Either the relationship I'm looking at is unhealthy, or the man in the situation is completely obnoxious and/or boring. And every year, another couple breaks up anyways (even the marriages).

I say, it is far, far better to be single because you haven't found the right person, than to be in a relationship with the wrong person. We all know how fabulous you are, so duh. Of course it's going to take longer to find someone equally as fabulous.

Until then, I totally recommend sidereel.com for illegally streamed episodes of Entourage and Weeds, learning how to bake (via Joy of Cooking and RIchmond Receipts) and pretty much any Argentine malbec. :) Oh, and texting/calling me more frequently.

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