Marmaduke!

From Gawker.com, by Richard Lawson, and so wonderful I had to re-post in full. Enjoy.

"Historic Meeting of the Moms to Convene in Alaska


Yes, professional child-haver Kate Gosselin is lugging her TLC TV show circus up to the Northern wilds to hang out with known Mama Grizzly, Sarah Palin. The gang is going to go on a very special, very filmed camping trip.

Can't you just picture it now? Kate with some sort of flying-V extensions 'do, Sarah cleaning her enormous moose gun, the two trying to one-up each other in Momitude. "I'm a mother," Kate will say. Sarah will shake her head, point at her chest, "Well I'm a mahhhm." They'll go back and forth like that for some time, until they realize their children have all wandered off into the wilderness and disappeared. They'll stand up frantic and begin calling for their kids.

"Aiden!" "Piper!" "Maddie!" "Willow!" "Starfruit!" "Baxter!" "Mingus!" "Mellon!" "Danica!" "Dubrovnik!" "Marmaduke!" "Trig!" "Trigorin!" "Limburger!" "TLC!" "Bachmann!" "Gymnopédie!" "Lysander!" "Phyllis!" "Doug!"

They'll call and call into the night, the fires flickering behind them, the distant sound of wolves haunting the void."