Wednesday, February 25, 2009
First I hear rumblings about a remake of Working Girl, the utter 1980s CLASSIC starring Melanie Griffith and Harrison Ford (who by the way, may never have looked hotter-this being the man who played Han Solo and Indiana Jones). This was enough to strike fear directly into my heart, because I love Working Girl, have loved it since I was so young that my mom had to fast forward through the slightly too PG-13 parts. I love Tess and her ginormous hair and white sneakers and her unorthodox yet triumphant rise to the top of the business world. I love Joan Cusack with her equally ginormous hair and super thick Jersey accent. I love the Carly Simon penned song that was written for the movie, "Let the River Run". It is quite possibly my favorite song of all time. To sum up, I love Working Girl, I think it is perfect just the way it is, and think it is utter blasphemy to even suggest remaking it.
Then I hear that they want to remake Footloose. Now the tantalizing idea that Zac Efron would play the lead did intrigue me, along with possibility that it would be a full on musical. But then I remembered how truly perfect Kevin Bacon is in the role of Ren McCormack. I love me some Zac Efron (and yes I admit that without shame), but could he ever pull of an angry gymnastics inspired freestlye dance in an abandoned warehouse? In sweats no less!? I mean really who could besides a young Kevin Bacon. Could Zac Efron capture the intensity of Ren when he makes the speech in front of the town hall, the one about dancing and celebrating and praising that always makes me tear up, despite the fact that I've seen it at least 30 times. The musical idea sounded kind of cool but really it would make me die a little inside if during the intense tractor chicken race, everyone just burst into song and went gallavanting through hay fields. Footloose, like Working Girl, is one of those absolutely perfect movies that could never be improved on.
And today I hear that they are definitely remaking Clue, yes that Clue, the one based on a board game, the one starring Tim Curry and Michael McKean and Christopher Lloyd, the awesomely silly and wonderfully funny film I love so dearly. It's not just rumblings or rumors, it's a fact. And all I have to say to those shady Hollywood types who dare tarnish my beloved Working Girl or Footloose or Clue is how dare you sirs? How dare you?
Why don't you just go ahead and desecrate a few graveyards, kick some puppies in the face, and burn down Disney World (along with Mickey et. all) while you're at it?
Have you no soul? Leave my movies alone!