So I may have told you about my attempt to make Babycakes Bakery vegan, gluten-free vanilla frosting (basically comprised of of soy milk, coconut oil, powdered milk, and cow tears (vegans can eat those!)). This frosting was not frosting. This frosting was weird, milky soup. It's very possible I did something wrong. But I was not going to attempt such a thing again.
Yet I had cupcakes to frost! For yet another March birthday (holy smokes there are so many March birthdays, I feel like every year I remark on this and yet for some reason every year it is a surprise, and every year I immediately do the old count backward nine months trick and realize that May/June is some serious baby-making season). But I digress. I needed to frost my vegan, gluten free chocolate cupcakes of obnoxiousness/deliciousness (also Babycakes and also made with the tears of cows). I also was in a pinch time and ingredient wise, because yesterday and today have been so busy I've barely had time to pee (honestly I shouldn't be writing this blog, it's 11pm and I have a BIO exam at 8 that I have done very, very little studying for, but oh well!). So what's a girl in a pinch to do for questions about all things baking?
Go to MARTHA of course! And I did. I found a simple vanilla frosting recipe online, Martha approved. I gathered my ingredients. I began to beat said ingredients in a bowl. And yet, something was wrong. The wind whipped up and dark clouds gathered. Dogs bayed at the full moon. Babies weeped.
Martha's frosting was not working. Martha's frosting was not soup but it was a grainy, granular mess, in no way resembling frosting. I felt something inside of me began to shatter. It was one thing if crazy vegans let me down. But Martha. Not Martha. Martha wouldn't lie to me.
Just as I was whipping myself into a frenzy of betrayal and just as my mother was about to check me in for psychiatric observation, I realized something. Confectioner's sugar! Martha had told me to use confectioner's sugar, and silly, silly me, had used regular old cane/table sugar. It was me who had screwed the pooch. Not my Martha.
I threw out the old batch after debating for several minute if there was any possible use for a bowl full of badly mixed table sugar and butter (surprisingly not). Then I made the new batch and within minutes I had beautiful, creamy, looking straight out of the tub FROSTING.
And all was well in the world.