Saturday, May 2, 2009

to be continued...

So I'm going to make it short and sweet tonight. It's my last night in America before I embark on a 5 plus month journey to Thailand. And there are about a million things going through my head and heart. But the one thing I know with absolute certainty is that I'm ready for this. I've been waiting for this. I think I've been waiting since the day almost a year ago when I graduated from college and somehow got stuck. And I've been stuck since then, in this half way world between college and a real adult life. There have been many wonderful moments in this little half life. I've had a lot of fun and spent time with two amazing little babies who made me smile every day. But it hasn't really been a life, at least not the life I want to lead. And it has always been my firm belief that you make life happen. You can't just wait around for it to happen to you, because more often than not life will pass you by. And starting tomorrow I'm no longer waiting. I'm "going confidently in the direction of my dreams." I'm going to "sail, dream, discover." I'm going to fly completely by the seat of my pants. I'm going to be terrified. But the best things I've done in life so far have been things that terrify me. As I sit here on my bed with that familiar high anxiety, shaky, almost nauseous feeling, I can't help but think back on the other nights I've spent in this very room, brimming over with nervousness about what the next day would bring. The night before I left for school in Charleston. The night before I flew to Paris for a semester abroad. Never in my life have I been so scared as I was those two nights. And never in my life have I been so profoundly and wonderfully changed.

So here goes. My next blog will be from Thailand (I'm hoping I can work out an internet situation there, I've bought enough mobile internet related technology to launch a small aircraft into space so I think I'll be covered). But for now it's to be continued.

1 comment:

Mimi said...

Wonderful and inspiring! Can't wait to read your next post!!!

xoxoxo,

Mimi

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